Early Speculation Is That Ryan “Smexy” Boylston Will Run For Mayor Of Delray Beach In 2024
Ryan “Smexy” Boylson sporting his patented Proud Boys haircut
The circus of the 2023 Delray Beach Commission election is over. So, what is an exposé site supposed to do next? Don’t worry, we have you covered. Let’s start talking about who might run for mayor next year. Delray Beach Confidential believes that Ryan “Smexy” Boylston will be the first to jump in.
Our first profile is too smexy for his shirt-current Vice Mayor Ryan “Smexy” Boylston. According to the Delray Beach city website, Vice Mayor Ryan “Smexy” Boylston was born in Pompano Beach. He claims he is a second-generation Floridian. He was the first in his family to graduate college. This isn’t particularly impressive in the modern age and wreaks of smug ingratitude.
We’re sure his blue-collar family considers themselves as meaningful and successful as their son.
Delray Beach Confidential hates people who brag about their college education. It wreaks of how politically-dead former Commissioner Juli Casale-Santos made false claims about graduating from Harvard.
On the City website, Boylston humbly brags about his the education and his stint as a used car salesman. The Smexinator then talks about moving to Delray Beach with his then fiancé.
Since 2005, Ryan and his now wife Cassidee have grown their family with the addition of three pretentiously WASPish named children. Our analysis of this part is that Smexy went to college. He also wants to let you know he’s a very masculine heterosexual. Why? He wants to exploit his children as proof of his virility.
Ryan “Smexy’ Boylston And His “History” As A Business Owner
Professionally, Smexy is the Founder and CEO of 2TON. 2TON is a creative agency no one knows anything about. However, an internet search shows he may have stolen the name from a local Miami rapper.
He claims that his ‘team” of highly skilled design professionals has led clients to prosperity. How? He claims 2TON has increased awareness and visibility using dynamic and creative marketing strategies. Don’t feel inferior for not understanding what this paragraph means. It means nothing. Dimwitted corporate management types use business technobabble like used to make themselves look smart.
Smexy also founded the Delray Beach newspaper, Boca newspaper, Joust Umbrellas, and The KTCHN – an eight-desk co-working space housed in his office on Atlantic Avenue.
All of the newspapers failed miserably. Additionally, this is the first we’re hearing about Joust Umbrellas. However, his flea market novelty business, Tru Floridian, isn’t mentioned.
Ryan “Smexy’ Boylston And His “Dedication” To Leadership
Smexy mentions his dedication to leadership. claims he has demonstrated leadership by serving as Delray Beach City Commissioner. He also brags about being a board member on Palm Beach Tech. He also brags about being a Past Chairman of Allstar Smiles Foundation and the Delray Beach Downtown Development Authority (DDA).
Smexy also brags about being a Past Member and Chairman of the Delray Beach Education Board and the Board of Directors of the Plumosa School of the Arts Foundation. Can’t take any of this away from him. He’s paid his dues.
Ryan “Smexy’ Boylston Paid His Dues Dues And Didn’t Try to Jump The Line
Ryan “Smexy” Boylston and his “Welcome Mat”
Smexy is experienced. Now that Petrolia puppet Casale is gone, The mayor has been politically castrated. It will be interesting to see if Smexy shows some of Shelly Petrolia’s testicular fortitude and gets things done. However, this is also highly unlikely. Since, Smexy has shown he’s a crybaby and doesn’t take well to criticism. He also melts at the slightest confrontation like he did at a commission meeting in March 2021.
We also see a friendly guy who seems to make decisions based on what’s popular to the crowd he’s speaking to. This got him in trouble a year ago.
We also see an okay guy who looks the part despite the poor use of judgment. Namely, the time he proudly posted pictures of his welcome mat tattoo and spray tan.
Smexy has a lot to prove. He’s a steady commissioner with little oomph. He knows the city’s issues. However, he doesn’t seem to recognize good advice when he hears it. Boylston also makes, quite frankly, stupid decisions. If he starts to realize who his real allies are and if he gives up on trying to win over the current mayor’s loser friends, he could have a shot.
The big question is, will Smexy finally give up his Proud Boys hair cut? Has anyone told him that the hair doesn’t make him look Republican. Honestly. it just makes his look like someone who shouldn’t bend over to pick up anything up in a prison shower.
We’ll just have to wait to see what Smexy does next. We’ll also be sure to share every detail with all of you.
Sincerely,
Your Friends at Delray Beach Confidential.
Also, Check Out These Articles About Ryan “Smexy” Boylston:
Ryan Boylston Feels Mayor Petrolia’s Bitch Slap 5100 Miles Away
Ryan Boylston Received A Big Bitch Bull Dyke Smack Down
This article is pretty “shmitty” from a journalistic standpoint. You should “shmang” your “shmead” in “shmame” at this effort. May “shmod” have “shmercy” on your “shmoul”
Coward
[…] ‘Smexy’ Ryan Boylston, is a favorite to win. Boylston fancies himself a pretty boy. He likes posting pictures of his unimpressive abs and ‘welcome mat’ tattoo. […]